What Your Dog Really Needs from You

Christine Booth
Feb 3
3 min read

When people talk about dog training, they often focus on fixing behaviors—stopping leash pulling, reducing barking, or improving recall. But before addressing behavior, you need to ask: What does my dog really need from me?

Meeting your dog’s core needs isn’t just about keeping them happy—it’s the foundation for trust, communication, and lasting behavior change. Here are the five essential needs your dog relies on you to fulfill:

1. Attachment – Your Dog Needs YOU

Your dog’s most essential need is you. Everything they have—food, shelter, companionship, entertainment—comes from you. Unless your dog lives on a farm and can freely roam, hunt, and socialize on their own, they depend on you for every aspect of their life.

Modern domestic dogs are like perpetual toddlers—they never grow out of their dependence on you. That’s why it’s so important to be intentional about the relationship you create. When you meet your dog’s attachment needs, they feel safe, secure, and connected.

2. Attention – Your Dog Needs It Proactively

Many dogs get attention only when they misbehave. If your dog jumps, barks, or steals something off the counter, you react. But if they’re quietly lying by your side, they might not get any acknowledgment.

Dogs learn what works. If they only get attention when they do something “bad,” they’ll repeat that behavior. Instead, proactively engage with your dog throughout the day—play with them, praise them, and let them know you see them before they demand your attention.

3. Appreciation – Your Dog Needs Praise Too

It’s easy to correct your dog when they do something wrong, but do you celebrate them when they do something right? Just like humans, dogs thrive on positive reinforcement.

When your dog:

Waits patiently instead of barking
Walks nicely without pulling
Looks to you before making a decision

Acknowledge it! Reinforcing good behavior makes it more likely to continue and strengthens your bond.

4. Authenticity – Your Dog Needs to Express Themselves

Your dog has their own thoughts, needs, and instincts. If they’re constantly ignored, micromanaged, or punished for expressing themselves, they’ll start to push back.

When a dog’s needs aren’t met, they often act out through:

Leash pulling
Ignoring commands
Overexcitement or frustration

Instead of controlling every aspect of your dog’s life, pay attention to what they’re telling you. Are they uncomfortable? Anxious? Excited? Learning to recognize and respect their communication will help them trust you more.

5. Autonomy – Your Dog Needs Choices

Because dogs depend on us for everything, it’s easy to fall into total control over their lives. But imagine if someone controlled every decision you made—what to eat, where to walk, when to play—you’d get frustrated, too.

Try giving your dog small choices throughout the day:

Let them choose which direction to go on your walk.
Offer two treats and let them pick.
Allow them to decide where to lie down or when to snuggle.

You don’t have to give them total freedom, but letting them make small choices improves their confidence, happiness, and willingness to listen to you.

The Key to Changing Your Dog’s Behavior

If what your dog really needs is you, then the best thing you can work on is your ability to show up as a calm, confident, resourceful leader. When you meet their core needs, their behavior naturally improves—because a well-balanced dog doesn’t need to act out to be heard.

Want to learn more about trust-based dog training and transforming your relationship with your dog? Check out our Pack Transformation Program or get started with our book, The Hidden Habits of Highly Successful Pack Leaders!